April 2009
1 post
and we're just floating floating floating
and drifiting to the sea
maybe it won’t be as bad
since you’ve found you way with me
we’re just floating floating floating,
til this great river runs dry
just going going going
going til we die.
March 2009
4 posts
Radio Talk Show Host
I’m good with words, career?
Personal Thesis Statement
I can’t wait to see my bitch, Hannah Kirk
I’m skipping school right now, and I’m not sure entirely why. I just know that I don’t want to be there right now; I don’t want to be suffocated by so many people trying to supress you. I find it an irregularity there to feel welcomed, or to feel accepted. I honestly cannot wait til I can get out of there, ASAP. I have...
February 2009
3 posts
I have lived enough
hours in Texas.
I’m ready to go back, I think.
your heart
felt good
like something made of wood
I will
find you
in the deepest of
night
you are the one
that sets
me
free.
January 2009
8 posts
I never told Hannah this
but I really think she could be a model. She is the epitome of beautiful. I wish I could be straight so I could make her happy.
I have a new love interest, his name is Robert.
I can’t describe how he makes me feel.
Sometimes
I feel like we are all paper flowers, and we are all trying to convince each other that we are real. But when the bees come to collect their pollen, we all feel ashamed.
I wonder
if theres a ghetto in heaven.
Hannah & Christian
my tumblr is pretty much for you.
I miss you guys. You guys are my true best friends. Like, I feel comfortable around you guys, and able to be myself ya know? Here it’s different. Like I can be myself, but I’m always watching my back, and I’m so cautious, because here, everyone hurts everyone.
San Antonio likes pain.
I am not at school
i am no where right now.
I don’t even know what to feel, to be honest.
And my resolution for this year
1400 miles to NC.
“Shane, you don’t look happy anymore”
– Moe
its so funny how
you froget how to smile sometimes,
or just froget how to be happy all together, and you just don’t look anything anymore.
When feelings just rot, and everything is just nothing.
When someone can just grip at your heart with such speed.
When the sunlight just doesn’t
taste so free anymore.
December 2008
30 posts
...
he found out
When everything
in your mind just
suspends
for a moment
and there is no
happy
and there is no sad
The only thing there
is such a vast
feeling of
voidness
When the sun isn’t very
bright,
or when they sea is so
still.
The feeling when you
just let the wind
scrape your body
and care not
how sharp it is.
The feeling of a
statue.
I think
I’m going to be able to tell the story soon,
because it’s about to end, possibly.
I hope not.
“Everything looks so pretty burning”
– The Used
Secret lovers
?
To be young again
to swing around in circles
and not caring where or when it will stop
but just how fast you’re going and
how high the swings will raise you.
When we finally parked
in the middle of the street, on our road, I turned off my car. This killed the radio and any noise that could of provided our sullen thoughts an optimistic distraction was gone. It became quiet violently quickly. It was a feeling close to awkward, but we all took a breath and realized why we were parked here.
Tonight, felt like the last night of summer. A night before things will go back to...
Nostalgia
hurts
This is where I stand
I am in a valley and I am chained. A hurricane is coming one way, and a blizzard the other. I am chained in between them, waiting for them to come and take me.
“The night was so great last night. We were driving and listening to good music....”
– him
Notes from the past
I am sitting at home with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of me. I do not belong here. I have not been home since Friday morning. Yes, this is a continuation of the story that I still cannot post. I can’t wait to post this story, guys. I am so excited to get this all of my chest. It sucks keeping things inside you.
I have been at His house since Friday morning
It has been 96 hours...
The story.
Is not being told today.
I cannot wait to post it up here though, when it becomes safe. I just can’t do it right now, because you NEVER know who might want to lurk my tumblr.
Because my tumblr gets a heavy traffic flow of online commuters, dontcha know?
I am in a good writing mood at the moment, so let’s talk about some things.
I do not understand the concept of imaginary...
maybe someday
ill have someone for myself.
Til then
I will settle for less.
This weekend
was amazing. First weekend I’ve been in SA for about three weeks.
Friday night we went to Brianna’s cousin’s house. Pretty much it.
Yesterday, we went to this guys house for a while, and his apartment was like a fucking zoo. It was awesome.
I’m writing in a monotonous tone right now, because I’m very confused because of something that happened last night.
...
“Giving it all, giving it all away, You’re gonna wake up like them”
– The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
It's all relativity
Me and Will have been talking again. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s such a funny feeling after 2 months without talking, to talk to him randomly and yet have everything feel so normal. I feel like he is supposed to be in my life, because he fits so perfectly with me. The feeling of just being such a complicated piece of a puzzle without a picture, and yet find someone who...
Looking back on the last period in life I become homesick from a place where I never really was; the thought itself of my past consumes me with nostalgia, even hour-old memories. But I feel like I’m missing out on prescious moments. I never had a summer of 1989, and I have never driven cross country in a van with no clear destination. Time is making me want to live faster. But do I really...
“Time won’t let me go”
– The Bravery
Riding in the back seat down the river watching the trees just fall behind me. Riding next to a canoe with a tree sitting inside, it’s roots not exactly grasping anything stable and we just float anda float on.
Travel the river just the tree and me, not stopping anywhere because the water won’t let us stop at all because it can’t be lonely.
And I wait for my friend, the tree,...
Tommorrow
I have to wake up at 6:30 am.
I have to go to school and take a test of Quadratics.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN IN LIFE I WILL USE QUADRATICS?
no, you can’t.
Argh.
Tommorrow I going to start.
“Stop living like such puzzle pieces”
– somewhere inside me
sooooooooooooooo
blowblowblown
lets do this
When its a missing and you want it more
it isnt right
turning turning out the door
leaving it like it was before
let me out
must be the end of the story
giving it all
giving it all away
gonna wake up someone
studied it all
the wings will crowd your face
your gonna end up like one
travel at home
travel the way
you say
The road don’t like me
...
I am sorry Tumblr, because I have been cheating on you.
WITH MYSPACE.
I get aggravated easily, but when I don’t direct my anger at you personally, does it give you the right to become hostile with me? I don’t understand the bitter nature of the people here, even my close friends. I feel bad when people get mad at me.
Please, don’t get mad at me.
I overanalyze things...
today
I have turned 17.
Everyone in my life deserves a shout out, but Hannah
she is special
Because of her,
this last year,
being a 16 year old
was the best expirience of my life.
I cannot wait, for so many more years to pass, with her in my life.
It leaves me marveled.
yesterday
Nothing really important happened. Me and Carla blazed on the way to school, school happened, and afterwards me & Alisha did AP English homework.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Carlas coming over right now then I’m off to schoolsiepoo.
Tommorrow is my birthday! :D
This is also how
I survived the tedious weekend with my parents.
CLICKITY CLICK
Fun, is it not?
Also, I’m going to be more continuous with this. Since Hannah is.
I really miss Hannah. I doubt she reads this, but if she does, I hope she knows how much I love her.
I need a boyfriend.
Tommorrow’s post will be more interesting, sorry. This was a time-killer more-so.
“Sleep? I don’t have enough time for sleep. I’ll sleep when I’m...”
– My cousin, Candice.
I don't want to get into details
about the last few days. I will just sum it up for ya.
Wednesday night, I got caught sneaking out with this guy I met on myspace. Good choice, Shane. He was cute and it was nice hooking up with him, but he’s a lot older than me, so considering a relationship with the guy is out of the question. I actually like this guy named Ryan. I’ve known him for a long time, actually before I...
November 2008
13 posts
I felt like I was harboring Jews in my room last night, hiding them from my Hitler Stepmother.
Except Ann Frank wasn’t a lesbian.